Machete uses while camping

A macheteMachetes are awesome.

They slice through practically anything, they’re pretty sweet-looking and there’s a certain, shall I say, machismo factor to carrying one, which is why any self-respecting camper should have one in tow.

But, unfortunately, this handy blade has dwindled in popularity due to its affiliation with genocidal rampages and sub-par horror movies staring Lindsay Lohan

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own one.

Machetes are surprisingly functional tools while hiking and camping.  In Latin America and other parts of the world, it’s completely normal to see men working in the outdoors with a machete strapped to their belt.

Machetes and Bushwhacking

Need to clear some brush? Is the trail your hiking getting a bit crowded?  A machete is a stellar bushwhacking tool.  With its broad width, the machete can slash through bushes, trees, cobwebs, plants and anything else in your path.

Hacking up some firewood

Unless you’re car camping, you’re going to need to gather firewood and then split it. A machete can slice through logs and, if necessary, even cap a little tree.  It’s also way lighter than a hatchet or ax, which are extremely difficult to carry long distances.

Food Preparation

If you’re heading into the woods for a long time, the last thing you went to haul with you is a satchel full of kitchen cutlery and a guide on how to sharpen a knife with a whetstone.

A machete can slice, dice, and cut up pretty much any kind of grub.  You can even carve up a coconut with it, if need be.

Dressing Game

If you’re a hunter or a trapper, a machete can be pretty useful in smashing the carcasses of wild game into more minute pieces for processing.

Self-Defense

Picture this:  It’s a cold, moonless night.  You’re recumbent in your tent, sipping a night cap of rye whiskey while reading cowboy poetry.  Then, suddenly, you hear a thrashing in the woods.  You peek out from the flaps of your tent to see the vicious, yellow eyes of a Grizzly Bear staring back at you.

His murderous glare lets you know that he has one thing on his mind: consuming you.  You grab for your trusty machete, leap out of your tent and prepare to battle the beast to the death.

Yes, you’ll almost definitely perish in this situation, but  if you’re fighting with a proper machete, you’ll at least be able to die a respectable death.

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6 Comments

  1. Posted May 22, 2011 at 12:03 am | Permalink

    Killing Zombies !!!!

  2. Posted May 22, 2011 at 12:06 am | Permalink

    Violates fixed blade laws in many urban areas too…dont really need that in todays ultralight weight camping…looks cool straped across the back of a pack tho…..for sure…..

  3. Thea Rasins
    Posted May 23, 2011 at 3:59 pm | Permalink

    Caution using these cool tools – when you slash at something (like a vine crossing your path at waist height, in Colorado, a long time ago), be sure the path of the machete will not crash into your legs should the vine be too wimpy or too loose. The blood looked cool as I walked back to camp…still have that scar too….

  4. Posted May 26, 2011 at 9:45 pm | Permalink

    One stroke eliminates need for the double tap

  5. Zooper
    Posted October 29, 2011 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    So I need a machete for hiking, clearing vegetation and to a lesser extent, self defence. It seems most of the Cold Steel/Ka Bar machetes are all over 1 pound in weight – CS heavy machete is a huge 1.5 pounds. Are these not too heavy to wield?

  6. Chris
    Posted April 8, 2013 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    This is one of my favorite articles that I have read on this site. Now I want to buy a machete haha